So Many Acronyms...

Today I had another acronym, and MRI...or is it just considered initials...

Molly had an MRI when she was 14 months old, so I had a little idea of what this entailed, particularly the unbelievably loud sound level. I wonder why in today's technology someone hasn't found a solution for the loudness. The MRI will give the doctors a better look at the lump, aka cancer, and determine it's exact measurements. I won't know any results until I meet with Dr. Mississippi Mud, my new oncologist, next week. So the MRI process was new to me. Again, another IV with more metal - a rare earth metal that I forgot to write down. (I'm looking a little like a pin cushion, but I'm sure this is nothing compared to what lies ahead.) I wore ear plugs and head phones to both dampen the noise and to hear the tech's voice and instructions. The MRI tech had the most soothing voice. It sounded like that voice on the Monorail at Disneyland, "Please exit to the left. Thank you for visiting The Breast Center MRI." I had to lie face down on a table that the tech described as"similar to a massage table." I have lain on a few massage tables, and this was definitely no massage table. Comfort was not quite the same, especially for my head. Plus, where were the oils? Where were the hot rocks? Where was the aromatherapy? However, she did have some nice music that played in the earphones, but I could only hear during the breaks in the machine noise. The whole tunnel thing was no big deal; plus I couldn't see it anyway. The MRI took 27 minutes to complete. I had a beautifully indented red forehead when it was all done.

My acronym-free test today was an ultrasound for the newly discovered ovarian cyst.

One hour before the ultrasound I had to drink 32 ounces of water and hold it - no bathroom! To be accurate, I drank 33.8 ounces of water. I am sure the extra 1.8 ounce made a big difference. I thought I was going to burst! When the Ultrasound tech pushed hard with the scanner, I knew that I was going to spring a leak! Oh my goodness, I thought I was 9 months pregnant all over again and was going to die if I didn't pee right away! As you can tell, I survived to write about it. I still don't know how the ultrasound techs know what they are seeing on the screen? I've had several ultrasounds and the tech always point out something for me to see, and I always say "yes, I see it;" when in actuality, I could not distinguish a darn thing! They pregnancy MRI's are the only ones that I could kind of distinguish that it was an alien-looking human inside of me and not a puppy. It was crazy when the tech would say, "here's the baby's heart, and here's the baby's liver, here's the baby's first hangnail." Are you kidding?! All I could see was a big alien head, body and a few arms and legs.

When I was checking in for the ultrasound, the very nice and friendly tech from yesterday's CAT scan saw me and asked what's up. I told her the she did such a great job with the CAT scan that I now get an ultrasound for a cyst. It seems like one scan or test leads to another. The Bone Scan lead to x-rays. The CAT Scan lead to the ultrasound. The Mammogram lead to the MRI. The Bone Scan lead to the PET Scan. Why don't they refer to the Bone Scan by its ititials - the BS Scan? I guess the answer speaks for itself. However, I know several people, that if they had a BS Scan, they would fry the machine.

Whacky thought for the day...
Who were the ultra-intelligent people that invented these amazing machines? CAT Scan - the big donut hole. MRI - the tunnel. Bone Scan-floating box? I mean really, who developed the technology and built the very first machines? There was no Home Depot and people in orange aprons to answer questions when these machines were first built. Did they have the materials in their garage like Bill Hewlett and David Packard?

And, who was the first person that volunteered to be injected with radioactive stuff for an experiemental scan? It was awfully nice of this volunteer, and I thank him for his bravery and possibly naivete'.

Happy Birthday J!