When we told the girls 7 days ago about the cancer, we got to very different reactions.
Riley, 14-9th grade, who wears her emotions - which are plentiful - on her sleeve, immediately began crying and asked right away, "Are you going to die?" I told her that I would die someday, but not from breast cancer. For a couple of days, she was very clingy, and sad. We had lots of hugging and lots of, "Mom, I'm scared." She kept asking if she could tell her friends, and I told her that was up to her. I thought that if she felt better sharing it with her friends, then she should do it. Seven days have passed since the news, and she is taking in stride. She seems to be consoling her friends more than she needs it from them. Now she can even joke about it with me. She has observed me being irreverent toward cancer, and she's starting to act the same way. She is handling this all very well. Riley has even stepped up with helping around the house! I hope it lasts!
Molly, 9-3rd grade, had a much different reaction. Molly buries all of her feelings deep inside, and I often have to prode and pull them out of her. She is the family comedy relief, and she got very silly after we told her. However, this silly was different than normal, kind of a nervous silliness. Some say she doesn't understand, but she is as sharp as a razor blade. (Riley at this age would have had no clue.) She began showing her uneasiness with the cancer two nights later, on Sunday night. She cried off and on from 8pm - 10pm, BUT the 100 reasons for her tears were all over the place, and not one was my cancer. Clearly she was hiding it behind these other reasons because she didn't want me out of her sight. The next day when she was hugging me, she asked if she could catch breast cancer. I told her, "No, you can't - for two reasons: 1. It is inside me and can't go outside and 2. Because you don't even have any breasts!" Then the next night, after a day in the hospital, she was in my room when I was changing into my pjs. I showed her that I still had on my hospital bracelet, and she got a little upset and said, "You have to take it off right away." I asked her if she wanted to remove it for me, and she ripped it of and threw it away. She still gets a little uneasy when I tell her that I have a doctor's appointment. I think she is the most scared. She understands about 80% of what is going on. It's the 20% that she doesn't understand that is tough on her. She definitely needs lots of extra attention, even though she will push away. Fortunately she has maintained her great sense of humor! She makes me laugh several times a day! I wonder if it is the red hair?
Next test is Saturday, a PET Scan. No animals involved.
Whacky thought for the day...
Could you imagine having a baby at age 50? I think that would be worse than cancer treatments! Well, a few days ago, Dr. Ice Milk went rambling on about harvesting my eggs before chemotherapy treatment. Hello......I am knocking on 50's door - only days away from 49. By now, Aren't my eggs hard-boiled anyway?